When the word "divorce" surfaces in a relationship it can jolt any person who thought that they had committed to the marriage until "death do us part" or reasoned that they could work things out through discussion, persistence and therapy.
When one spouse has made his or her decision to leave the marriage, there is not much the other spouse can do other than prepare for the divorce. If the lives of you and your children are now in disarray, it is now your job to see if you can make this divorce go as smoothly as possible.
Ideally, you will want to have an amicable divorce. During this process, you should try to keep your emotions in check. That can be difficult to do, especially if you've invested several years into a relationship that has brought children, growing assets and a lifetime of what you thought were happy memories.
Your children, personal well-being, assets
Here are some pointers that may help you survive a divorce:
- Remember, children come first: No matter what you think, a divorce or separation will affect your children. Parents should avoid fighting in front of their kids. Because children are impressionable, the actions that you do - such as saying mean and hateful things about your ex-spouse - may affect them well into their adult lives. Be honest with the children and try to have healthy and realistic discussions with them. They understand more than you think.
- Commit to co-parenting: This arrangement will get you equal time with your children.
- Don't forget you: Please take care of yourself as best you can. Stay active physically and mentally. Rediscover old hobbies or learn new ones. Lean on your friends and family for support. This can help you keep your mind occupied, keeping the memories of divorce as distant as possible.
- Seek a support group or therapist: Yes, this will be a tough time for you. If a person gets physically injured, he or she seeks treatment at a medical facility. If you have emotional wounds that no one can see, you also must seek help.
- Be aware the marital assets that you and your spouse have: Make sure that you have good and thorough records of your investments. This will better help you and your attorney organize things that will lead to dividing up the assets the two of you accumulated.
Some people know that their relationship is not working. Others may be blindsided by divorce papers. Regardless of your circumstances, things in your life have changed, but do not let your emotions get the better of you. While the transition can be rocky, you can carry on to the next part of your life.