If you and your spouse decide to split up in New York, you are probably dreading the divorce proceedings. One way to decrease the stress involved with splitting up is to use a mediator, who is a neutral third party who guides you through all divorce considerations such as property, asset and debt division as well as spousal and child support.

While very few people enter into marriage thinking it will end, the American Psychological Association reports that almost half of all marriages end in divorce by the 20th anniversary. For many, a divorce can bring up a variety of emotions such as sadness, anger, helplessness and fear. Going through mediation, as opposed to litigation, is beneficial for not only each spouse but also the children, as it is less emotionally charged.

Live About discusses many of the advantages of using a mediator. These include:

  • Neutrality, so it is fair to both parties
  • Takes less money and time than divorce court
  • Everything discussed is confidential
  • Each party has more control in regard to final decisions

Although there are many advantages, it is important to consider disadvantages as well. If one spouse is controlling and outspoken, the other may not have a chance to state their needs and wants. One spouse may be able to keep assets hidden because there is no pretrial discovery. You also are not able to use past behavior, such as cheating or abuse, as a factor in determining final agreements. In complicated situations, you should hire a professional, such as a financial accountant or lawyer, to help you work through financial and legal issues. Even in non-complicated cases it is a good idea to consult with an attorney to make sure you are covering all the bases.